Stupid

November and December have been way too busy for blogging, so we at TWDQ HQ appreciate your patience.

While we've been away we've learned the following things:

• Pete Rose thinks performance-enhancing drugs are "making a mockery" of baseball.
  
• Lynne Spears had been advanced money to write a book on parenting.
• Rush Limbaugh and Matt Drudge were criticizing someone else 's looks.
• Karl Rove insisted the Democrats pushed the president into war with Iraq.

With those items in mind, here's This Week's Discussion Question:

If the jokes are going to write themselves, who needs the striking TV writers?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Dude, if Charlie Rose had paused to take a sip of coffee at that moment, it would have been the best spit-take ever."

Discuss.

Silent Night

Yeah, it is.

We at TWDQ HQ wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Peace on Earth.

"...we are so far from want..."

Been a busy month at TWDQ HQ, with absolutely no time to blog.

We read this incredible blog post two Thanksgivings ago and revisiting it is becoming an annual tradition. Go.

We at TWDQ wish you a peaceful and want-free Thanksgiving.

I'm Sorry (But So Is Brenda Lee)

Congressman Pete Stark (D-CA) hurled the following comment at his GOP colleagues Thursday as the House was debating overturning President Bush's veto of the State Children's Health Insurance Program bill:

"You don't have money to fund the war or children. But you're going to spend it to blow up innocent people if we can get enough kids to grow old enough for you to send to Iraq to get their heads blown off for the president's amusement."

Republicans and their water toters in the media are, naturally, having yet another case of the vapors and demanding an apology from Rep. Stark.

We at TWDQ also call on Rep. Stark to apologize, but we've gone the extra mile and prepared a free apology that the congressman may use:

I'm sorry for my poor choice of words during Thursday's debate. Instead of "for the president's amusement", I should have said "for the president's illegal and immoral war."

There you go, Pete. Give the people what they want.

We now return you to This Week's Discussion Question.

Do the Limbo Rock

The conservative blogosphere is gleefully beating up a 12-year-old kid, so we pose This Week's Discussion Question:

At long last, have you no sense of decency?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Boy, talk about burros and excavations..."

Discuss.

What Does it Take?

This and this bring us to This Week's Discussion Question:

What the hell does it take to get a guy impeached around here?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Don't be silly. You know what it takes."

Discuss.

I Thank You

We interrupt This Week's Discussion Question to offer our thanks to the crews at TBS and TNT for doing an ace job of covering the baseball playoffs. We are well aware that future rounds will be turned over to the clowns at Fox, who cover baseball with the same competence as they do news. That is, a competency somewhere between Lew Ford's baserunning ability and Rush Limbaugh's courage and veracity.

Enjoy it now while you can. Yes, even you Yankees fans who are now down 2 games to zip to the Native Americans. (We interrupt This Week's Discussion Question's Interruption to say: WOO-HOO!)

We now return you to This Week's Discussion Question.

A Helpful Tip

We interrupt This Week's Discussion Question to bring you a very useful tip. At Altercation's "Slacker Friday," Charles Pierce offered up this bit of wisdom on the MoveOn Petraeus ad kabuki:

"...it's pointless to respond every time someone flings poo out of the conservative monkeyhouse. It's what happens in a monkeyhouse. You duck and walk away to go watch the penguins."

So here's This Week's Helpful Tip:

The next time you click through Fox "News" Channel, think to yourself "Hey! Monkeys!"

Then duck and go watch the penguins on Animal Planet. (Or ESPN, since the NHL season's just around the corner.)

It worked like a charm this morning when we happened across Brit Hume and Bill Kristol on Chris Wallace's show.

One of these weeks, This Week's Discussion Question will have to be "How long before JuanWilliams stands up, tosses his lapel mic on the table, and walks off muttering 'I can't work with crazy people anymore...'?"

We also resonated with Mr. Pierce's thoughts on the possibility of another O.J. Simpson trial: "There aren't enough tackhammers in the world to drive enough nails into my eyeballs if this gets rolling again."

We now return you to This Week's Discussion Question.

This is not a joke, so please stop smiling...

Speaking of donkeys and apertures:

• The Senate Republicans essentially filibustered (Make them talk, Harry!) amendments to restore habeas corpus and to ensure that our troops are home for the same length of time they've been deployed before they can be redeployed.
  

• The trigger-happy Blackwater USA mercenaries are finally getting some long-overdue scrutiny.

• The president still thinks gittin' warrants is too damn hard.

• George and Dick are busy ginning up another war for somebody else's kids to fight.
  

• Uncle Sam's credit card's maxed out.
  

• The housing market ain't looking good anytime soon.

Here's This Week's Discussion Question:

How could there possibly be room on the news for anything as inconsequential as O.J. bleeping Simpson?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Nice votes, Norm. Why do you hate the Constitution and our troops?" or "Hey, that's only the fifth time Uncle Sam's credit card has maxed out under this president's watchful eye."

Discuss.

Well, Well, Well

We had a quirky little incident in TWDQ's home state last week:



Fortunately, the donkey was retrieved safely from the well and is doing, well, well, so This Week's Discussion Question is temporarily transmogrifying into This Week's Make Up Your Own Joke.

Please keep your jokes civil and do not wander off into "Boy, this is the last time I ever tell you your blog's been quiet lately," my dear.

Joke away.

What the World Needs Now (Part #911)

We interrupt This Week's Discussion Question to tell you to go to the record store.

Go get this.

Well? What are you waiting for? Cheapo's open 'til midnight. Go!

Now!

What She Said

Alex Rodriguez is on a tear right now, but nobody hits 'em out of the park more often or more regularly than Digby does. Today, she wraps up with this:

And then, of course, there are all the dead bodies, American and Iraqi alike. It's sadly true that we may not be able to prevent Iraqi deaths when we withdraw. We don't know the future --- I fervently hope that the Iraq civil war will be short lived. But we do know that we can prevent a bunch of American deaths, deaths which would not happen if not for George W. Bush's need to save face.

There can be no greater waste of life than that. It isn't about national security or self-defense or even national "prestige" whatever that is. This war is being continued so that one man might have an opportunity to avoid embarrassment --- after he's dead. I can think of some things that might be more useless and immoral, but not many.

You can probably see This Week's Discussion Question comin' right down Broadway:

Why isn't this woman on my editorial page regularly?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "9-11, 9-11, 9-11" or "Saddam Hussein, Saddam Hussein, Saddam Hussein."

Discuss.

You Can't Catch Me

As we approach the sixth anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks, here's This Week's Discussion Question:

Why isn't this guy in prison?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Because this guy didn't listen to the wisdom of this guy and took his eye off the ball."

Discuss.

Going, Going, Gone

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced his resignation this morning and President Bush said--out loud in front of God and everyone, "It's sad that we live in a time when a talented and honorable person like Alberto Gonzales is impeding from doing important work because his good name was dragged through the mud for political reasons."

Here's This Week's Discussion Question:

Does the president think we're idiots?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Sorry, George. Alberto had his name dragged through the mud because every time he went up to Congress to testify, he either lied his arse off; parsed his answers finely enough to pass through cheesecloth; or appeared that he couldn't remember a damned thing, including, perhaps, his name or shoe size. That, and he helped get us into the business of torture, tried to strongarm a very sick man into signing off on an unconstitutional domestic spying program, and filled the Department of Justice with political hacks from Pat Robertson's law school so they could fire U.S. Attorneys who were doing their jobs well, but too well for Karl Rove's taste. There isn't enough mud in the Ninth Ward of New Orleans to heap onto his name."

Discuss.

Acknowledgement

We interrupt This Week's Discussion Question to humbly acknowledge our own hypocrisy.

Yesterday afternoon, we were kicking back at TWDQ HQ watching a Little Leaguer from Lubbock, Texas throwing strikeout after strikeout a day after his teammate whiffed 17 kids from Coon Rapids, MN* and we were channeling "Crash" Davis settling down Nuke LaLoosh: "Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls. More democratic."

A couple of hours later, we were cheering as a future Yankee was mowing down batter after batter on his way to a club record 17 strikeouts.

Somewhat dictatorial, yes. Boring, no.

So yeah, we're hypocrites.

We now return you to This Week's Discussion Question. We apologize for the inconvenience.

*Coon Rapids is the next suburb over from TWDQ HQ. Contrary to the name, it's a typical American suburb, not a hillbilly haven. Honest.

It was 33 years ago today...

...that even Richard Milhous Nixon had enough sense to know that the jig was up, so here's This Week's Discussion Question:

Would you like us to hail you a helicopter, George?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Annie Savoy was right: 'The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness.'"

Discuss.

Da-da-da-da-da-da!

So we're at the ballgame last night. The organ strikes up those six familiar notes, the crowd yells "Charge!" and we realize that we've just been presented the gift of This Week's Discussion Question:

How the heck do you charge in baseball?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "A farm system full of pitching prospects and Terry Ryan couldn't get a stinkin' bat before the trading deadline?" or "Wow, look at everybody doing 'Y.M.C.A.'! Is this GLBT Night?"

Discuss.

(h/t to the kid...)

Wait

Once again, we interrupt This Week's Discussion Question to bring you another helpful tip.

Over the last couple of days, Stephen F. Hayes has appeared on Meet the Press and The Today Show to promote his forthcoming tome, Cheney: The Untold Story of America's Most Powerful and Controversial Vice President. It sounds like a fascinating read, but here's our tip:

Wait for the paperback edition, which should feature an epilogue describing the stoicism and steely resolve Mr. Cheney displayed throughout his war crimes trial in The Hague.

We now return you to This Week's Discussion Question. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Bonfire of the Inanities

Charles Pierce is a regular contributor to "Slacker Friday" at Eric Alterman's Altercation blog at Media Matters. Yesterday, in taking apart a blogger who contends that what John Edwards spends on a haircut is a legitimate story while Mitt Romney's makeup costs are not, Mr. Pierce concluded with this (but go read the whole thing):

And, were I an editor, and someone brought me a story about John Edwards' hair or Mitt Romney's skin, that person would do it once. The second time, the lazy bastard would find himself typing bowling agate* on Wednesday night.

Thinking back to earlier this week, we present This Week's Discussion Question:

How come Bill Kristol is on my Op/Ed page and Charles Pierce isn't?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "It's unfortunate for Andrea Mitchell and Tim Russert that NBC doesn't run bowling scores" or "Hey! Did you hear Hillary has cleavage!"

Discuss.


*"Agate" being the small type that the bowling scores appear in in your daily newspaper.

What the World Needs Now (Part #717)

Geez. American Idol mercifully wraps up for another year and what pops up on the teevee networks? More Karaoke Shows! NBC's even renewing The Singing Bee for the fall schedule.

While we're pleased to see Joey Fatone off the streets, here's This Week's Discussion Question:

Why would you bother with people butchering old pop songs when these guys are back together?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Hell, why would you watch karaoke sober?" or "Boy, I hope this won't preempt NBC's new series Law & Order: Voter Fraud."

Discuss.