A Helpful Tip

We interrupt This Week's Discussion Question to bring you a very useful tip. At Altercation's "Slacker Friday," Charles Pierce offered up this bit of wisdom on the MoveOn Petraeus ad kabuki:

"...it's pointless to respond every time someone flings poo out of the conservative monkeyhouse. It's what happens in a monkeyhouse. You duck and walk away to go watch the penguins."

So here's This Week's Helpful Tip:

The next time you click through Fox "News" Channel, think to yourself "Hey! Monkeys!"

Then duck and go watch the penguins on Animal Planet. (Or ESPN, since the NHL season's just around the corner.)

It worked like a charm this morning when we happened across Brit Hume and Bill Kristol on Chris Wallace's show.

One of these weeks, This Week's Discussion Question will have to be "How long before JuanWilliams stands up, tosses his lapel mic on the table, and walks off muttering 'I can't work with crazy people anymore...'?"

We also resonated with Mr. Pierce's thoughts on the possibility of another O.J. Simpson trial: "There aren't enough tackhammers in the world to drive enough nails into my eyeballs if this gets rolling again."

We now return you to This Week's Discussion Question.

This is not a joke, so please stop smiling...

Speaking of donkeys and apertures:

• The Senate Republicans essentially filibustered (Make them talk, Harry!) amendments to restore habeas corpus and to ensure that our troops are home for the same length of time they've been deployed before they can be redeployed.
  

• The trigger-happy Blackwater USA mercenaries are finally getting some long-overdue scrutiny.

• The president still thinks gittin' warrants is too damn hard.

• George and Dick are busy ginning up another war for somebody else's kids to fight.
  

• Uncle Sam's credit card's maxed out.
  

• The housing market ain't looking good anytime soon.

Here's This Week's Discussion Question:

How could there possibly be room on the news for anything as inconsequential as O.J. bleeping Simpson?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Nice votes, Norm. Why do you hate the Constitution and our troops?" or "Hey, that's only the fifth time Uncle Sam's credit card has maxed out under this president's watchful eye."

Discuss.

Well, Well, Well

We had a quirky little incident in TWDQ's home state last week:



Fortunately, the donkey was retrieved safely from the well and is doing, well, well, so This Week's Discussion Question is temporarily transmogrifying into This Week's Make Up Your Own Joke.

Please keep your jokes civil and do not wander off into "Boy, this is the last time I ever tell you your blog's been quiet lately," my dear.

Joke away.

What the World Needs Now (Part #911)

We interrupt This Week's Discussion Question to tell you to go to the record store.

Go get this.

Well? What are you waiting for? Cheapo's open 'til midnight. Go!

Now!

What She Said

Alex Rodriguez is on a tear right now, but nobody hits 'em out of the park more often or more regularly than Digby does. Today, she wraps up with this:

And then, of course, there are all the dead bodies, American and Iraqi alike. It's sadly true that we may not be able to prevent Iraqi deaths when we withdraw. We don't know the future --- I fervently hope that the Iraq civil war will be short lived. But we do know that we can prevent a bunch of American deaths, deaths which would not happen if not for George W. Bush's need to save face.

There can be no greater waste of life than that. It isn't about national security or self-defense or even national "prestige" whatever that is. This war is being continued so that one man might have an opportunity to avoid embarrassment --- after he's dead. I can think of some things that might be more useless and immoral, but not many.

You can probably see This Week's Discussion Question comin' right down Broadway:

Why isn't this woman on my editorial page regularly?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "9-11, 9-11, 9-11" or "Saddam Hussein, Saddam Hussein, Saddam Hussein."

Discuss.

You Can't Catch Me

As we approach the sixth anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks, here's This Week's Discussion Question:

Why isn't this guy in prison?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Because this guy didn't listen to the wisdom of this guy and took his eye off the ball."

Discuss.

Going, Going, Gone

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced his resignation this morning and President Bush said--out loud in front of God and everyone, "It's sad that we live in a time when a talented and honorable person like Alberto Gonzales is impeding from doing important work because his good name was dragged through the mud for political reasons."

Here's This Week's Discussion Question:

Does the president think we're idiots?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Sorry, George. Alberto had his name dragged through the mud because every time he went up to Congress to testify, he either lied his arse off; parsed his answers finely enough to pass through cheesecloth; or appeared that he couldn't remember a damned thing, including, perhaps, his name or shoe size. That, and he helped get us into the business of torture, tried to strongarm a very sick man into signing off on an unconstitutional domestic spying program, and filled the Department of Justice with political hacks from Pat Robertson's law school so they could fire U.S. Attorneys who were doing their jobs well, but too well for Karl Rove's taste. There isn't enough mud in the Ninth Ward of New Orleans to heap onto his name."

Discuss.

Acknowledgement

We interrupt This Week's Discussion Question to humbly acknowledge our own hypocrisy.

Yesterday afternoon, we were kicking back at TWDQ HQ watching a Little Leaguer from Lubbock, Texas throwing strikeout after strikeout a day after his teammate whiffed 17 kids from Coon Rapids, MN* and we were channeling "Crash" Davis settling down Nuke LaLoosh: "Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls. More democratic."

A couple of hours later, we were cheering as a future Yankee was mowing down batter after batter on his way to a club record 17 strikeouts.

Somewhat dictatorial, yes. Boring, no.

So yeah, we're hypocrites.

We now return you to This Week's Discussion Question. We apologize for the inconvenience.

*Coon Rapids is the next suburb over from TWDQ HQ. Contrary to the name, it's a typical American suburb, not a hillbilly haven. Honest.

It was 33 years ago today...

...that even Richard Milhous Nixon had enough sense to know that the jig was up, so here's This Week's Discussion Question:

Would you like us to hail you a helicopter, George?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Annie Savoy was right: 'The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness.'"

Discuss.

Da-da-da-da-da-da!

So we're at the ballgame last night. The organ strikes up those six familiar notes, the crowd yells "Charge!" and we realize that we've just been presented the gift of This Week's Discussion Question:

How the heck do you charge in baseball?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "A farm system full of pitching prospects and Terry Ryan couldn't get a stinkin' bat before the trading deadline?" or "Wow, look at everybody doing 'Y.M.C.A.'! Is this GLBT Night?"

Discuss.

(h/t to the kid...)

Wait

Once again, we interrupt This Week's Discussion Question to bring you another helpful tip.

Over the last couple of days, Stephen F. Hayes has appeared on Meet the Press and The Today Show to promote his forthcoming tome, Cheney: The Untold Story of America's Most Powerful and Controversial Vice President. It sounds like a fascinating read, but here's our tip:

Wait for the paperback edition, which should feature an epilogue describing the stoicism and steely resolve Mr. Cheney displayed throughout his war crimes trial in The Hague.

We now return you to This Week's Discussion Question. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Bonfire of the Inanities

Charles Pierce is a regular contributor to "Slacker Friday" at Eric Alterman's Altercation blog at Media Matters. Yesterday, in taking apart a blogger who contends that what John Edwards spends on a haircut is a legitimate story while Mitt Romney's makeup costs are not, Mr. Pierce concluded with this (but go read the whole thing):

And, were I an editor, and someone brought me a story about John Edwards' hair or Mitt Romney's skin, that person would do it once. The second time, the lazy bastard would find himself typing bowling agate* on Wednesday night.

Thinking back to earlier this week, we present This Week's Discussion Question:

How come Bill Kristol is on my Op/Ed page and Charles Pierce isn't?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "It's unfortunate for Andrea Mitchell and Tim Russert that NBC doesn't run bowling scores" or "Hey! Did you hear Hillary has cleavage!"

Discuss.


*"Agate" being the small type that the bowling scores appear in in your daily newspaper.

What the World Needs Now (Part #717)

Geez. American Idol mercifully wraps up for another year and what pops up on the teevee networks? More Karaoke Shows! NBC's even renewing The Singing Bee for the fall schedule.

While we're pleased to see Joey Fatone off the streets, here's This Week's Discussion Question:

Why would you bother with people butchering old pop songs when these guys are back together?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Hell, why would you watch karaoke sober?" or "Boy, I hope this won't preempt NBC's new series Law & Order: Voter Fraud."

Discuss.

Always Look on the Bright Side

We interrupt This Week's Discussion Question to offer a helpful tip to everyone who read Smilin' Bill Kristol's latest Washington Post column, Why Bush Will Be a Winner.

In the column's second paragraph, Mr. Kristol suggests, "Let's step back from the unnecessary mistakes and the self-inflicted wounds that have characterized the Bush administration."

Here's our tip:

To have any hope of seeing past the unnecessary mistakes and self-inflicted wounds that have characterized the Bush Administration, make sure you step back toward the viewfinder of the Hubble Telescope.

We now return you to This Week's Discussion Question. We apologize for the inconvenience.

(We also swear we had this post's title before we read the WaPo's subhead "On the Bright Side.")

Let's Go

A new American Research Group poll conducted in the wake of the President slipping Scooter Libby a "Get Out of Jail Free" card shows 45% of respondents think the House should begin impeachment proceedings against President Bush. 54% were in favor of the same for Vice President Cheney, so here's This Week's Discussion Question:

Hey! Can we get rolling on these?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Only 40% approved of impeaching Clinton WHILE HE WAS BEING IMPEACHED" or "That's Convicted Felon Scooter Libby."

Discuss.

Patience

Another holiday, another call for patience in Iraq. Nice to see that the president is big on tradition.

Since we're tapped out of patience and since both parties already have presidential campaigns in full swing, here's another installment of This Week's Discussion Question:

Couldn't we just vote this November?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Mmm...Peach!"

Discuss.

Independence Day

Happy Independence Day! Today, we Americans celebrated 231 years of freedom from being ruled by the whims of a distant king. (Make up your own joke here.)

The city in which TWDQ is headquartered held its annual Fourth of July parade a week and a half ago* and some festive parade-goers inspired our Independence Day Edition of This Week's Discussion Question:

Do you suppose Betsy Ross ever considered that her work might someday lead to something like this?

And speaking of the rule of kings, here's our bonus Independence Day This Week's Discussion Question:

Could we solve our energy crisis by harnessing the power generated by Thomas Jefferson and James Madison as they spin in their crypts?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Now if you had some antennae that shot bottle rockets...whoa!" or "Mmmm...Peach!"

Discuss.

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*They figured out you get a better turnout for a Fourth of July parade if you don't have it on the actual Fourth when everyone's blown town. Go figure.

On the Rocks

We swear we had this one the moment the local morning newscast ran footage of the President's boat stuck on the rocks, so after a long absence, here's This Week's Discussion Question:

Metaphor, anyone?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "Boy, you can't make this stuff up, can ya?" or "I'm only surprised that it wasn't one of Poppy's friends that bailed him out."

Discuss.

I'm Sorry, So Sorry

Former President Jimmy Carter is backing off from a comment he made in a recent interview where he was quoted as saying, "I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history."

The White House dismissed Carter as "increasingly irrelevant" ("Mr. Pot? Mr. Kettle is on line one...") and Faux News went predictably apoplectic, but we'll save "Is Sean Hannity giving Douglas Feith a run for his money?" for another TWDQ.

Carter says he was responding to a question comparing the current administration to Richard Nixon's, but we're not afraid to go the extra couple hundred years and ask This Week's Discussion Question:

What other administration is even close to being worse than this one?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not wander off into "But Bill Clinton..." or "Hey, these guys are the worst-ever domestically, too!"

Discuss.

Cinco del Este de Los Angeles

The Cinco de Mayo celebration at TWDQ HQ consisted of some chips with salsa and a spin of this during a quick run to the grocery store, but it was enough to jog loose This Week's Discussion Question:

Has America produced a better rock 'n roll band than Los Lobos?

Please keep the discussion civil and do not even consider suggesting The Doors.

Discuss.